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"Not being social on social media’s the biggest irony of our times"

For Sales Without the Sleaze – Use This

He didn’t call.

He didn’t specifically say he would … he didn’t say he wouldn’t, either.

Why wasn’t he calling me ???

We’d had a magical date. There was banter-fuelled conversation. Intense eye contact. Flirting. Hand holding.

All signs pointed to –> he’s gonna call me.

Only he didn’t.

So what’s a girl to do, when she wants him to call and he hasn’t?

That’s right: Buy lingerie.

When you feel deflated, put your money into something that makes you feel the opposite. It’s called retail therapy for a reason.

Since I was in Barcelona and not Paris, I figured the shopping experience would be a total fiesta

In Paris, it’s customary to walk into a store and be completely ignored.

The spirit of customer service hasn’t quite made its way onto that side of the pond. Those that expect otherwise suffer in silence. Or are tourists.

But in Barcelona? The city of beaches and Gaudi and designer food? I expected every store to have a party.

Armed with intent and ready for some serious spending, I made my way to the busiest shopping district to hunt down one of my favourite lingerie stores.

I walked through the glass doors and found only one other customer in there before me.

Brilliant. I can have a conversation with a sales assistant and perhaps she can explain why he hasn’t called?

As I sifted through the items near me, I looked over to see where the assistant was. Spotting her behind the counter, I picked up an item and walked it over to her.


Me: Excuse me. Do you have this in a medium?
Assistant: *Looks up. Doesn’t make eye contact* Yes. I’ll go to the back and check.
*Assistant returns*
Assistant: I’m sorry we don’t have it in that size.
Me: Are there similar styles that you can show me?
Assistant: *Points to the wall* They’re there. And those items at the back are on sale.


That. Was. It.

No smile. No discussion. And certainly no party.

Was she even remotely interested in making a sale? Was my Spanish not up to scratch? What about why he wasn’t calling me??

Ready to buy but incredibly pissed, I decided to walk out the door and give my business to someone else.

While I’m not expecting a cheeky glass of Cava to aid every shopping experience, I don’t think it’s unrealistic to have a conversation with an assistant when you’re shopping for something so intimate.

To make a connection. Laugh a little. Show each other that we’re human.


** Segue into teaching moment **


So, reader – how does this reflect in your business?


**flicks over flipchart paper and adjusts glasses**


In an increasingly digital world, the spirit of connection’s truly lost.

Not being social on social media’s the biggest irony of our times.

Whereas previously we’d pick up the phone to have a conversation or meet people face to face, we now rely on words on a screen to create connection for us.

Of the thousands of people chatting in Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups and Tweeting like there’s no tomorrow, how many of them make the move and ask for a call?

How many take the steps to start a conversation that uses their voice and personality, instead of their fingers tapping on a keyboard or smartphone?

Social media should rename itself to introduction media. Because that’s all it does – introduces you to someone you can then either create a real-world relationship with, or not.

Let’s take a step back even further and ask: Of the thousands of business owners that have social media accounts for business, how many are proactive about making a connection?

And how many sit back to let the account do the work for them?

Take a look at a campaign Pat Flynn ran recently.

For this birthday, he teamed up with the charity Pencils of Promise and sold t-shirts to raise money.

Look at what’s on the package when you receive your t-shirt in the post:

This isn’t Pat sitting around waiting for people to share his campaign on social media. This is Pat being proactive by catching the customer when he has their attention, and asking them to share.

They then search the hashtag and see who else has shared. Perhaps he sends them a message to thank them, and asks them a question. Who knows where he can take it from there?

You can absolutely use this in your business. To start a conversation. Create a connection. Stand out. Build trust. Sell without sleaze.

Whether you have three customers, zero social media accounts or no clue how to get a conversation started.


That’s a question I’ll answer in the Your Words Matter Facebook group.

Click here to access it (when you click the button, you may see an error message. Ignore it (it’s sent to confuse you) and log into your account as normal to access the group)


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Paris, A Public toilet, And All those Sheep
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Paris, A Public toilet, And All those Sheep

Paris, A Public toilet, And All those Sheep